Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages

Cross.

Try sitting down.

But alas

But alas

I think I might go pro... some day...

I would dye happy

On the night of their honeymoon, a newlywed couple had an unfortunate accident, resulting in the amputation of the groom's left foot. Unable to control her grief, the bride calls her mother from the hospital. "Mom," she sobs, "my husband has only one foot." The mother, trying to console her daughter, says, "That's alright dear, your father only has six inches."

Infi-knight

…one day they have the following conversation: Bob says, “I was just wondering if there is baseball in Heaven.” John replies, “I sure hope they do because it would be hell not being able to play it for all eternity!” “I know right! Tell you what, if one of us dies before the other, then we need to somehow let the other one know if there is.” “Sounds like a plan!” Bob dies a few years later in a car crash & a couple of days after that John has a dream where Bob visits him and tells him, “I have good news & bad news. The good news is that they DO play baseball in Heaven and, man, they have some of the best games! All the legends play, Ruth, Robinson, Gehrig, everybody in the Hall of Fame plays but your skill level doesn’t matter because who cares if we win or lose, we’re just playing a game that we love!” John says, “That sounds awesome! But what’s the bad news?” “You’re scheduled to pitch next week.”

It was a grin aid!